What do you think about that quote? It sounds good right? Living a life that allows you to write off or accept a person merely off of a single success or fail rate. This is my question, if someone is exactly what you want them to be toward the beginning of a relationship and then later on uncovers a side of themselves that you didn't sign up for, what then? You chose to believe them the first time and now you are in the middle of the ocean deciding whether to stay on board or jump ship. What is the right move?
You see, I've used that ideology for a greater part of my life to a fault. If I don't like what I see at first, I have no obligation to continue any further, but if I choose to believe yes at the beginning of a friendship, and things change to where I am no longer happy with the reality I am living, then I use the same mindset, "Well I guess this is who they really are, and now I'm stuck for good, because I believed them" thus my ideology is invoked and I choose no right to happiness because I signed up for what I saw at the beginning. And because I took face value, I'm just going to be miserable unless I get what I agreed to at the start. I voluntarily put chains of loyalty on myself.
I wonder what would happen if we completely changed our mindset? Not to say that we shouldn't live loyally, but that our intent and goal shouldn't be to be in relationship based off of what is pretty and shiny at first and to discard that which doesn't appeal or benefit to us later.
I firmly believe that in relationship, and life in general, we should walk with the amount of grace that Jesus displayed on the cross, even if it isn't what we "saw" in the beginning. Let me explain, I may not find it comfortable to love someone that no longer fits where I placed them to fit in my life. But I don't have an option. I may not want to show grace to someone whom I deem as being less than what I agreed to, but it's not a choice. How many times have I done stupid, irresponsible things? How many times does the Lord forgive me? Not just 70 x 7 but probably closer to a number that won't fit on this screen. Although my heart was pure and on fire for God when I got saved, I have had several moments since, where I can say I wasn't walking in that same zeal. But His grace and forgiveness gives me new life, because His mercies are new every morning. When did I become so indignant that my happiness and contentment is worth more than staying true to a life of grace that I've received and live by, a grace freely given to us all? I have to, no, get to show grace, to forgive, and to restore, if that person asks for it, and here's the kicker, to forgive and show grace even if they don't. We are not obligated to stay in the middle of a harmful situation, whether physically or mentally but we are obligated to forgive.
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."- Matthew 6:14
So maybe, my ideology is right, but my mentality is wrong. Instead of looking at a shifted friendship as a prison cell, I should look at it like a vacant lot. To build and dream on. With every word we speak, and thought we think about a person, we lay a foundation that is built upon, whether solid, or unstable. I want my heart to be so right that I can love someone into change, that with my words and thoughts I am helping them build a firm, pure foundation for the Lord to build upon. I want to be willing to walk out the course laid in front of me, whether it is to restore a friendship, or a person altogether. I will choose to live, think, and breathe forgiveness and grace.
So what do we think then? Do we believe we are what people see at face value, or believe that God's grace and forgiveness gives us the opportunity to be more than face value, to be His value. My prayer is that I and you reading this will walk with eyes of reality, that with every glance we give a stranger, with every word we speak to a close friend, we see God's work in progress and that we choose to be a part by giving what we all need to grow and to fulfill heavenly destiny, forgiveness and grace.
I see forgiveness like rain, cleansing, refreshing, and a life source to everything.
Living Plan A,
Cavanaugh
you go cavanaugh!
ReplyDeleteit's true, though. i know i have a problem with this, even to the point of writing people off before i know them because of previous experiences with "people like them". but someone i've spent a lot of time with has challenged me (without saying a word, might i add) to start separating what people do from who they are. just like you're saying. and it's incredible how many people open up to her, and their heart condition changes, because they know that this person doesn't see them for their stupid mistakes and clumsiness in life along the way, but for their heart and who they are at the core.
sorry, didn't mean to write a novel. just wanted to encourage you. i've seen it lived out and it's changed my life. so go for it! :) you're awesome.